


Why do I like Slash? - Plain Answers from a Straight Woman

by DarkTwin



Category: Multi-Fandom, Multiple fandoms - Fandom
Genre: Literary Theory, Male Slash, Meta, Other, Slash, Slash theory, multi-fandom - Freeform, not fandom-specific
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 01:51:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4041094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkTwin/pseuds/DarkTwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A meta on the question of why I like slash. Not fandom-specific.<br/>Not a manifesto, just some honest answers that helped me understand this, and that I'm posting here just in case they help others, too.<br/>Contains an analysis of the most popular explanations of the appeal of slash fic, as well as (I hope) some original thoughts of my own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why do I like Slash? - Plain Answers from a Straight Woman

**Author's Note:**

> This is the revised version of a meta originally posted on LJ and Trickster in 2004. 
> 
> Your feedback is MUCH appreciated. :-)

Why do I like slash?

Probably every female member of the huge worldwide community of slash fans of all fandoms has asked herself this question at some point, and so have I.

It didn’t happen immediately after I’d discovered the phenomenon. But after merrily playing in that world for a few months, both reading and writing, at some point I found myself wondering.

I’d never liked m/f romance in fanfic (I still don’t), unless it was strictly canonical. It seemed disrespectful of the original authors to throw their characters into bed together on some flimsy narrative pretext when the authors themselves had obviously not planned for them to end up there (yet). But there I was, knee deep in fics that _were_ all about love and sex when the original canon material wasn’t – and the only difference from conventional het romance was that both parties were male.

Respect for the original authors and the original material aside, it just wasn’t logical. I’m a heterosexual woman. I was getting turned on by the idea of two men having sex. It didn’t make sense.

I set out to explore this phenomenon, maybe in the hope of finding answers that would set my mind at rest, maybe in the hope of distancing myself from the problem by analysing it to death (I tend to do that). Either way, it worked. I'm fine with this now. And if you're up to a longish read (sorry for that), you'll find out why.

I started by wondering whether I was even asking the right question.

 

**I. Asking the right question**

I’ve waded through tons of material - mostly discussions and essays within the fandom, as unfortunately there still doesn’t seem to be much “objective” research out there. Most articles outside of the fandom are only just discovering the phenomenon and are only just starting to ask what exactly the appeal of this genre is. They’re usually far from providing plausible answers.

As far as answers go, I didn’t expect there to be only one. I also didn’t expect all the various answers out there to apply to me. Reading different people’s attempts at answering the question has been very inspiring and helpful, but ultimately the only person that can say why I like slash is myself. Which I will now attempt to do.

So this is not about “Why Women Like Slash”, or “Why Heterosexual Women Like Slash”, this is about ”Why _I_ Like Slash.” I’m not advocating anyone’s cause except my own. So no generalisations will be attempted. But if any of this resonates with you, dear reader, I will be very happy if you tell me so. It’s always good to know that one is not alone.

I have come across quite a few possible answers to my question that didn’t make sense to me personally (so I called them the “non-answers”). But it was working through them that helped me figure out which ones did, and they may work for other female fans anyway. So I'll present all possible answers that I could find, and give my own view on them, beginning with the “non-answers” that didn’t work for me at all (part II) and continuing with the answers that did work for me (part III, dealing with the narrative appeal, and part IV, dealing with the sexual appeal). 

And to get the technicalities out of the way: I’m aware that the term “slash” generally covers both m/m and f/f scenarios. But it’s only the m/m scenarios that I’m interested in and that I’ll be talking about here. So if you came here looking for thoughts on the appeal of femmeslash, I’m sorry to disappoint you.

 

**II. The “Non-Answers”**

 

**_Answer # 1:_ **

_Slash is a socio-political statement. Women are using it to promote feminism and gay/LGBT issues._

There seems to be a connection between feminism, or at least a firm belief in gender equality, and enjoying slash. I fit into that pattern, and I have yet to find a fellow female slash fan who holds a particularly conservative world view where gender roles are concerned. I’m not of the militant, man-hating kind, but I do believe in gender equality. Traditional views of gender roles annoy me in real life and bore me in fiction and the mainstream media.

But slash as a political statement? Not me. If I wanted to get active politically in this field, there’d be much more efficient ways of getting the relevant people’s attention than spending hours, days and weeks at my computer reading fanfic, and occasionally typing up pieces of my own.

As for promoting gay/LGBT issues, I support them, but in a rather abstract way. I get angry when I see discrimination against gay/LGBT people, but that is a case of abstract values, not a personal issue, since I’m heterosexual myself. And while reading and writing slash has certainly made me more aware of real life gay/LGBT issues, I don’t see my reading or writing as a contribution to promoting them. On the contrary, I keep feeling guilty that I might actually be doing the male gay community a disfavour by writing of what I don’t know as if I did. Because how do I know I’m getting the m/m dynamics right? Let alone the technicalities?

 

**_Answer # 2:_ **

_Liking slash is an act of rebellion. It’s a cool, new subculture, and the very idea is still shocking to a lot of people, which is fun._

This might be true for people who openly admit in their real life that they read and write slash. I understand that there can be a certain sort of gratification in a shocked look on your parents’/teachers’/classmates’/co-workers’ faces when you tell them that you do. But this doesn’t apply to me for the simple reason that this interest of mine is a really, really private thing. So private that not even my nearest and dearest have a clue that I’m reading and writing this stuff. In fact, I’m terrified at the idea of them (or anyone in my real life, really) ever finding out. And I can find nothing cool and rebellious in guiltily clicking away websites when someone enters the room, and in keeping all my slash-related docs on a memory stick in the hindmost corner of my bottom desk drawer where nobody will find it, instead of on the HD of our family computer.

 

**_Answer # 3:_ **

_Women like slash because it’s an interactive subculture that doesn’t exploit anyone commercially or sexually, like mainstream pornography and literature tend to do._

Yes, sure, that’s great about slash.

You get sexual gratification without having to feel guilty how it came about. No real people are treated with disrespect and degraded to mere objects in the creative process, like in commercial porn movies. 

And the interactive aspect is wonderful. Everybody brings their own ideas to it, with very low entrance barriers both for publishing stories and participating in debates. Writers get feedback and good advice. People start talking about things they’ve never dared to talk about before. Lasting online friendships are formed.

And it’s for free, nobody exploits your obsession financially, nobody manipulates you into accepting any mainstream aesthetics or moral codes that you don’t 100 percent agree with.

But honestly, that’s not what I was looking for when I came to slash. These are all nice side-effects, additional bonuses. But if I didn’t simply like to read and write those stories, I wouldn’t be here, for all the sense of community and solidarity and delicious subversiveness that defines the genre.

 

**Answer # 4:**

_Slash is all about exploring human relationships and the underlying emotions and the characters’ personalities._

Well, it is. The characters matter. The first slash pairing that I really got into was made up of two characters that I’ve always been a big fan of, ever since I read the book they appear in for the first time, and long before I even knew what the term “slash” meant. It was just their fascinating personalities and their mutual history and the depth of their friendship that appealed to me – very complex, very damaged, very angsty, and yet heartwarming in its absoluteness.

But it would obviously be perfectly possible to explore my favourite characters’ personalities and the world they live in on a deep and meaningful level _without_ pairing them up in a romantic, sexual relationship. Lots of great gen fics do just that. And then, there are also many other characters in my favourite fandoms that I find interesting and intriguing and  that I like reading good fics about, and still in connection with them, the sexual aspect never even enters my mind. So if it’s all just about exploring the characters, why slash, why not stick to gen fic?

 

**Answer # 5:**

_OK, so it’s all just about sex!_

That’s the usual answer when people no longer know what else to say. It’s just HOT, isn’t it?

Yes, of course it is - but that’s simply not all, and neither does it explain _what’s_ hot about it.

Except in my fairly rare moods when I go and read a good dose of utter porn just because I need it, and things become pretty detached from the characters, mere hotness or level of arousal is not all that matters. As I said, it matters _who_ it is. The idea of any random male character from my favourite fandoms having sex with any other male character of the same fandom is not only unappealing to me, but positively disturbing, no matter how well or elaborately written. It only works with some, for me. 

So, hot porn or character exploration? Narrative appeal or sexual appeal? - Both, definitely. I believe both aspects exist in their own right in slash, and they also go hand in hand. How exactly, I will go into more detail below. 

 

**III. The Narrative Appeal - Character Development, Emotions and Relationship Dynamics**

 

**Answer # 6:**

_Assuming that characters are gay makes for great narrative material, especially when the story is set in a world where homosexuality isn’t generally accepted._

Yes. The good old pattern of love in the face of adversity certainly works for me as well as for anyone else, judging by the enormous popularity of the theme ever since the first piece of romantic fiction was written. And the lovers being homosexual can serve the same narrative purpose as the lovers being separated by family feuds, class boundaries, cultural background etc.. It means that they will have to hold on to their love against all odds, which is awfully romantic and heroic. And the typical elements of this, like the need for secrecy, the fear of being discovered, make for great thrills in a story. Of course these themes can turn up in het fic just like in slash fic, it’s just that in slash fic, they seem to turn up a lot more regularly.

Then there is also the internal process of the characters figuring out their own sexual orientation, which can be very interesting psychologically, and a great source of conflict and tension in stories. This, too, seems to be a popular theme, statistically - stories in which the characters (or one of them) are not yet aware that they’re gay, and discover it by falling in love with each other, abound in every fandom I’ve ever looked into.

This theme is not always treated with the depth it deserves, though. And it tends to annoy me when fics make too light of this. No matter what the cultural background of the characters is, I can’t imagine this process to be a conflict-free, quick and easy one. (But, yeah. I'd better save the issue of “pet peeves and annoying stereotypes in slash fic” for my next essay.)

Another suggestion that I came across was that in accepting his own homosexuality, a male character is forced to rethink his own perception of gender stereotypes. And that requires an open-mindedness and a sort of courage that we women would definitely like to see more in men.

Being gay also makes a character interesting in other ways, because it is unusual, different, and (still) slightly against the norm. “Rebel” characters are always appealing, to me as I’m sure to many other women.

A character being revealed to be gay also usually comes as a surprise to the reader. It’s thrilling to be challenged, as a reader, to say goodbye to the usual pattern that automatically defaults to “het” when you see “male”. A slightly shocking transformation of a (by default) platonic relationship between two men into an (unexpectedly) romantic, sexual one will always fascinate me. After all, even in a long-standing friendship-only relationship between a guy and a girl, it’s not surprising when a sexual aspect comes into it at some point. Between men, it certainly still is.

Homosexuality can also make a character intriguingly ambiguous, because their sexual orientation and the role they take on in their m/m relationship might not reflect how they’re usually perceived by outsiders. In a conventional m/f relationship, you easily jump to the conclusion that the partner who, on the outside, earns the money/gets to have the adventures/basically runs the whole show (i. e., usually the man) is also the one who takes the more active, more confident part in a romantic relationship, and who calls the tune in bed. But in m/m relationships, you can never be sure. Because it might just be exactly the other way round. It’s this idea of “hidden” sides of a character, of picturing them in really unlikely situations and (quite literally) positions, that makes slash scenarios interesting to me.

 

**Answer # 7:**

_Women use slash to explore the concepts of ”mateship” and male bonding._

Yes, definitely. I really like these concepts in real life, too. I like that way of relating to each other. And I’m sorry to see that true, deep friendship between two men (in a strictly platonic sense) seems to be becoming a rare phenomenon, as it’s considered to be somehow unmanly. That’s a shame, because I think it’s a good thing for men (any human being, really) to relate to someone else on that deep level.

But I also like these concepts personally. I have quite a number of good male friends. I tend to get on really well with men on a strictly-friendship-only level. All the same, I can’t help feeling that I’m only ever trying - and ultimately failing - to relate to them in the same way that they relate to their male mates. Because I am, after all, a woman. I always feel a little bit deficient, like that world of male mateship and bonding will ultimately always be closed to me. So the only means I have of really going to the bottom of it, rather than just getting glimpses, is my imagination, fiction and fantasies.

But why slash? Why not just the boys’ world, but without the sexual aspect? I think it’s because slash can be seen, in a way, as the ideal form of deep male friendship. Because in slash, you have this deep bond between the characters on all possible levels, in all imaginable respects, with no reservations at all - mind, body and soul. It’s this total, all-encompassing dedication of one character to the other that both warms and hurts my heart.

 

**Answer # 8:**

_When you pair your hero up with his best mate, there can be no third person “intruding” on their deep friendship.  
_

Well, while this statement is of course true in itself, I fail to see how this applies to slash in particular. If you want to write about an ideal friendship, undisrupted by (female) intrusions, why not just write gen fic, without any of the friends you’re writing about getting romantically involved with anyone else? You can easily avoid that problem without having to turn the best mate into the hero’s love interest himself. In your fanfic, you could just eliminate the female intrusion by eliminating the sexual factor altogether, and they could still have just a deep friendship, without sex.

 

**Answer # 9:**

_In slash, women get the chance to write male characters the way they want to see them, rather than the way men are in real life._

Male characters in slash fic are indeed often written in a way that makes them slightly more “female” than they are in canon. They’re better listeners, they show more empathy, they’re more sensitive and more intuitive, they communicate differently from their real life cousins... All those are qualities that are usually (justly or not) labelled as “female”.

Personally, it really annoys me when a fic goes overboard on the feminisation of the protagonists. That’s the moment my brain kicks back in and I just want some more realism, please. But it’s a question of degrees. In moderation, I like it. Until I get to the point when it’s simply too much, I usually enjoy exploring the more “female” sides of a male character that I like.

But while the term “feminisation” describes the phenomenon quite well, the reason _why_ we do it, and why it appeals to me, is still unclear. It is probably two-fold.

**Answer # 9 A:**

_We feminise the male characters because it makes them more like us women, so we can relate to them better._

I don’t feel that I need to do that. I very often and very easily relate to “typically male” characters in stories, too. In fact, I often relate better to very male male characters than to more feminine ones. Maybe this has to do with my self-perception - I don’t see myself as all that feminine either, in many ways. 

**Answer # 9 B:**

_We feminise the male characters because it makes them more like we want men to be._

I’m happier with this explanation. Because, yes, I do think that men in general could do with a few more “female” qualities. Not only because I’d personally find it easier to interact with them then, but also because I think it would make the world a better and more peaceful place.

This is often referred to in the more academic approaches to the issue as “In slash, women re-write masculinity”. I think this is a bit of an exaggeration. I’m not out to re-write masculinity as such. But in my fics, I’m free to create “ideal” characters and an “ideal” relationship - and part of my definition of “ideal” is, apparently, that there should be more of an emphasis on female qualities. (Another important part is the equality issue -  I’ll come to that later.)

You could argue that a woman doesn’t need to write slash for that. It would suffice to just generally write male characters in the way we want them to be, in het fic and even gen fic. Why not write about a man being wonderfully understanding and sensitive and intuitive in a het relationship? Isn’t it a shame that this would obviously look so implausible, so unrealistic, that we have to resort to slash to make it work? Well, it’s not entirely unrealistic (these guys exist, thank God!). But still, after two or three thousand years of Western culture and civilisation, any depiction of a m/f relationship comes with so much cultural baggage, so many prefabricated role models and behavioural patterns, so many deeply ingrained biological and social codes that it’s really hard to free yourself from that and redefine the roles. None of us writes in a social vacuum. Slash, on the other hand, offers a wonderfully clean slate.

Which leads us into:

 

**Answer # 10:**

_Slash makes it possible to write a relationship that is entirely free of the usual gender stereotypes and traditional role models._

That’s so true. There are so many aspects that make m/f relationships complicated that you simply don’t have to deal with in slash. And I don’t only mean pregnancy. (Although I do believe that anyone who writes a fic that deals with male pregnancy deserves to be shot at dawn. Right, sorry, pet peeves go in the next essay.) The mechanics of gay sex are complicated enough in their own right, so of course two guys don’t generally have it easier in bed than a guy and a girl. What I mean are the underlying dynamics, the patterns that we tend to fall back on, the clichés and expectations that are imprinted on me like on most other women. Although I’m critically aware of many of them, I can’t claim to be free from them altogether.

As I have seen it put,

 _"It's just that at some point in m/f, you have to deal with either (1) how the relationship defies traditional m/f roles, or (2) how the characters deal with the conflict inherent to those roles. Sometimes I just get tired, you know?”_ (internet resource, author unknown)

I so feel your pain, sister. The way I see it, this problem is two-fold, too: It’s not just that we sometimes want to protest but aren’t allowed to; sometimes we’re also supposed to protest but can't be bothered to. 

It’s not that we all live so firmly inside the traditional m/f gender roles that we can break out of them only in fiction (although some of us may find themselves in that position in real life, and I hear this is the big appeal of slash in Asian countries). The problem for us Western women is rather that we're always supposed to deal with these patterns actively, to say where we stand in relation to them. It’s not only the traditional, conservative powers in our cultures that have their expectations of us; it’s also the progressive powers. A traditionalist might not want me to read or write a story with a strong female heroine who only keeps her male partner as a decorative side-kick. But equally, a progressive person (maybe a fervent feminist) might not want me to read or write a good old traditional tale of male prowess and triumph and victory in battle, where all the women ever do is sit at home and wait for the hero to return. I’m caught between the two. No matter which I choose, I’m always made to feel a bit guilty, either because I break the rules of tradition, or because I _don’t_ break them. Whichever way, I’m always supposed to deal with the issue. And like the fellow fan in the quote above, sometimes I just get tired of it. Which is where slash comes in really handy.

But that sounds a bit as if I would actually prefer to write het fic and only resort to slash to avoid certain problems. Which is not true. So what is the specific appeal of slash, other than just avoiding some problems of traditional het fic?

 

**Answer # 11:**

_Slash makes it possible to write a relationship where there is true equality._

Well, of course I don’t always want to write or read about perfect, ideal relationships. Too much happiness and harmony in a story will bore me. But this issue of equality is certainly true, and I’m sure that’s a big point why I like slash. This answer is the most frequently quoted answer to the question that I’ve come across, too.

An m/m relationship is free from the structural inequality that biology (and consequently, society) imposes on m/f relationships. In slash, the biological outset of the characters is exactly equal, and so is their perception in society. There are no superimposed expectations and role models to fall back on. The characters are free to interact on an exactly equal level in a way that is rare if not impossible to achieve in het relationships. And that, in a way, is an ideal, too, because that’s what I wish the world, and human relationships, were like: that everyone would only be judged as an individual, as a person, not as a man or woman.

 

 So, in essence, summarising the narrative possibilities slash offers, I couldn’t say it better than Tracy Mayo (Boston Globe 29 June 2003, 14):

_“It is the projection of gay men as the best of both worlds, attractive and male, while still able to be caring and share feelings.”_

Or, as I’ve read elsewhere:

 _“The “ideal” human in a misogynistic world: male body, male power, female ways of relating.”_ (internet resource, author unknown)

I’ve never come across another genre of literature, original or otherwise, that satisfies so many of my desires and covers so many themes that I like to see dealt with in stories all at once. Slash has it all. That’s why I love it.

Alright, alright! I hear you say. So that’s why slash is a great genre to write and read, why it offers endless narrative possibilities, and why it’s good for the soul. But why is it so HOT?

I promise I’ll come to that. There is still one more answer to be discussed in this section, but it will lead us straight into part IV (The Sexual Appeal).

 

**_Answer # 12:_ **

_There are simply no or not enough good, strong female characters to identify with in fiction._

This obviously depends heavily on which fandom we’re talking about. In my personal favourite fandoms, I’ve come across some really great female characters - strongly drawn, many-layered, intriguing, wonderful creations, easy to identify with. But still, not one of those girls has ever got my imagination going like the guys do. Not even in a purely platonic admiring-the-hero sort of way. Honestly: Do I want more interesting female characters? Answer, plain and simple: No. I’m happy with the guys, thanks. Because no matter how great those female characters might be, they could never let me explore what I’m trying to explore through slash. Simply because they _are_ female. _Like me._

 

**IV. The Sexual Appeal - Taboos, Fantasies, and the Safety of Fiction**

Let me first come to the answer that I’ve heard most often in connection with the sexual appeal, and that, in my opinion, goes least to the point of all.

 

**_Answer # 13:_ **

_One hot man in action is good, so two hot men in action is twice as good._

Also comes in the formula “Two is better than one” or “Double your pleasure”. People often offer this explanation with a kind of shrug, as if to say, “That’s the best I can come up with”, admitting that it is somehow unsatisfying and doesn’t really go to the point. Which it quite certainly doesn't. 

Obviously, as a heterosexual woman, I find the idea of a hot man appealing, so I consequently find the idea of two hot men appealing, too. But in slash, when those two men start getting hot together, my enjoyment of the scenario isn’t doubled, it explodes exponentially. It takes things to a whole new level.

Because what matters is not the number of people involved. Does anyone’s enjoyment of a sex scene increase simply by number of people participating? Are fivesomes by definition hotter than foursomes? Nonsense. What matters is that you need two to get interaction, and that’s the whole point. Think that’s stating the obvious? You won’t believe how many slash fans seem to be satisfied with the simple rule of thumb quoted above, as if it’s just a matter of quantity. Of course two are better than one alone. But not because two are twice as many as one, but because it takes two to _become_ one.

On to another very popular “answer” that isn’t really one.

 

**_Answer # 14:_ **

_Women are aroused by male slash for the same reason that men are aroused by “lesbian” scenes in porn._

I really don’t think so. I don’t claim to be an expert on why men like “lesbian” scenes in porn, but this is one of the few topics related to the slash issue that I have actually talked about with some of my male real life friends, so let me relate what they told me.

What they all agree on is this: Men like those “lesbian” scenes because they know they’re a fake. They’re just a prelude or interlude to m/f sex, just two deep-down heterosexual girls passing the time and getting in the mood until the “real” action starts, which always involves a man. The underlying message is always that what they _really_ want is a man, after all. Only they’re so horny that they can’t get enough, or that they can’t wait, so that’s why they like playing with each other, too. But it’s not “real” sex until the man comes in. It’s complementary, additional, not an alternative.

That makes it inherently different from how I see male slash. In slash, I’ve never pictured the protagonists to be deep-down straight although they were engaging in homosexual activities. On the contrary, half the thrill of slash is the revelation that these characters really _are_ gay, while in canon, they are presented as straight or at least of unknown sexual orientation (which automatically defaults to “het” in most people’s minds). That’s the exact opposite of the (supposed) appeal of “lesbian” porn scenes to a male het audience. In slash, I’ve never assumed that all these two hot guys really want is a girl. I’ve never seen or heard of a slash fic that had two men playing with each other just to pass the time, while they were waiting for the girl to arrive and the real sex to start.

There are a few similarities. The general otherness and strangeness of the idea of two persons of the same gender together in bed appeals in both cases. And the “appeal of the forbidden” might be strong for people who have been taught to think of it as wrong. But if what I outlined above really _is_ what straight men like “lesbian” scenes in porn for, it compares in no way to the appeal m/m slash has for me.

 

**_Answer # 15:_ **

_Male sexuality is more interesting to explore than female sexuality, for women. After all, we know all about ourselves!_

I would never claim to know all about female sexuality (or why else would I feel the need to write this!?). But I certainly know more about female sexuality than about the male. The female one, with all the unanswered questions that I still have about it, is naturally a lot more accessible to me. It holds fewer secrets and fewer mysteries for me. And I have a better idea where to go looking for answers to my remaining questions.

That’s all different with male sexuality. I’m really curious about it, too (because I’m heterosexual, I suppose), but I find it much harder to get answers on this. After all, I can’t just try things out and find out how it feels.

Of course we could explore male sexuality through het fic, too, writing from a male POV, for example. But in slash, you get the whole thing one-on-one, unfiltered, without any female distractions. In that sense, too, slash is something like an “ideal”, raw form of what I’m trying to explore.

 

**_Answer # 16:_ **

_Slash appeals because men simply have more freedom when it comes to sex._

Partly true, I’d say. Men don’t have to worry about getting pregnant, for example. I don’t mean (and I don’t support the notion) that men can sleep around as much as they want while women shouldn’t - but still, the way men can deal with their sexual experiences is very different from how society expects women to handle the issue.

Want an example? Dirty talk. A great kink of mine in fanfic, and I suspect so because I can’t really do that in real life. Now, we could make girls in our fics be as outspoken in bed as men, but it wouldn’t work the same way. It would make them appear slutty and cheap, or it just wouldn’t sound real. If you, dear reader, have ever come across a fanfic that had a girl doing really hot dirty talk that both rang true to character and true to the world the story was set in, please tell me so. As far as I know, this doesn’t exist.

 

**_Answer # 17:_ **

_Female readers like slash simply because there is no reason for jealousy._

True. True, true, true. It _hurts_ to see a male character I’m really in love with with another girl.

I obviously want to see him with someone, because I want him to be happy, and also because he’s hot and I want to see some action. But if that comes at the price of seeing him in the arms of another girl, I’d rather not see it at all.

It’s not like I prefer picturing him in my arms instead, not literally. Most fictional characters that I’ve ever been in love with I couldn’t bear being in a real relationship with, thank you very much. But even in fanfic, where _I_ can decide who that girl in his arms is, it wouldn’t work. With most canon female characters, it would make so little narrative sense that I couldn’t bring myself to suspend disbelief to such an enormous degree. And Mary Sues, at least if you’re a half-way self-respecting writer, are out of the question.

So if I want to see love and happiness for my favourite male character, and if I want to see some hot action, too, but some that isn’t a dagger through my own heart, it’s really the most obvious option to make my hero jump into bed with his best mate. Because his best mate is his best mate anyway. That’s established. That’s someone I can’t be jealous of, because he has older rights and better rights than mine. I can’t ever come between them, nor would I presume to. But the really good thing is, once my hero _has_ decided to jump into bed with his best mate, no _other_ girl is ever going to come between them, either.

I admit that this sounds a bit sad. But it’s still true, so this analysis wouldn't be complete if I left that bit out. 

 

**_Answer # 18:_ **

_Slash appeals because there is not only equality between the characters on a social level, but also on the sexual level._

Of course, the equality issue that I addressed above, in the social context, has a parallel in the sexual context.

An m/m relationship is, at leaston the outset, a relationship of equals in the sexual sense. There is nothing that one partner can technically do that the other can’t. There doesn’t have to be a fixed assignment of roles. There is a certain attribution of roles like active and passive when it comes to some specific practices, but not with all. And even then, unlike between man and woman, these roles can be changed around freely (even within one and the same bedroom scene, as long as you give your boys a bit of a break to recover sufficiently). Top, bottom, whatever it’s the characters’ freedom and it’s also the writer’s and the reader’s freedom. There is no default that you’re required to fall back on. And in terms of identification or self-insertion, you don’t automatically take the female part, you’re free to chose which one you like best. I love having that freedom.

Some people have said that it’s simply the wide range of variations on the same theme that they find fascinating in gay sex. I agree! It makes it colourful and exciting, even if you don’t go for any particularly exotic and extravagant practices. There’s always a bit of a surprise as to what exactly is going to happen, and who’s going to take which part. In m/f sex, you always know how it’s going to end. How boring.

**_Detour # 1:_ **

_But if it’s all about equality on the sexual level as well as on the social level, why not explore it through femmeslash?_

If slash is refreshingly and liberatingly free of traditional gender roles, and if that’s what I like it for, why is it still the male slash that turns me on? Why not femmeslash? Femmeslash offers the same opportunities to re-define roles and promote equality, after all, and may deal even more directly with my own sexual desires.

I think it’s just too close to home for comfort for me. I really don’t mean this in an offending way to any lesbian or bisexual readers of this essay. I certainly don’t mean to express a negative attitude towards lesbians or bisexual women. You girls please all do just what you like and enjoy yourselves as much as you can. But femmeslash scenarios lack, for me, one very big advantage that m/m scenarios offer to me, and that is sufficient distance from the reality of my own life. More on this below.

 

**_Detour # 2:_ **

_So what about scenarios that don’t advocate equality at all, such as D/S scenarios, or even dub-con and non-con scenarios?_

This is a corner of every fandom that’s not to everybody’s taste, so I’m making this a mere detour. I have found (and even written) fics with scenarios of that type, so I think I have to go there for a moment, too, if I want this analysis to be complete. But feel free to skip this bit and continue with Answer # 19 if any of this squicks you.

D/S scenarios, dub-con and non-con scenarios have their own thrill for me, and obviously they’re the exact opposite of an equality ideal. It’s all about power play, about control and relinquishing or losing control, and I find dynamics of this sort fascinating (in fiction! This is totally a kink of mine that has no parallel whatsoever in my real life wishes and desires).

But why not explore them in het fic then? I think it’s because in your usual m/f D/S scenario, by default the woman is in the sub role, and I hate that. Women have been made to take sub roles in all aspects of life for far too long. Arguably, we writers could very consciously attribute the roles differently, but that idea doesn’t appeal to me, either. Maybe that’s because society teaches me to think of a dominant woman as automatically evil and bitchy. But if that is it, I’m afraid society has done a good job on me. And this problem would only get worse in m/f fic, of course, when we’re not talking about a game, but about real dub-con or non-con.

So I suppose the only way I can safely toy with the concept of D/S, and that of dub-con and non-con, is when it’s happening between two men, which makes it a lot easier not to feel compelled to identify with either party.

 

But back onto the main track now.

 

**_Answer # 19:_ **

_Slash allows you to explore and test the limitations and boundaries of sexuality. It allows you to break taboos in your imagination that you don’t want to or can’t break in real life._

Well, so does het fic. Many things that I have enjoyed in slash fic, especially fantasies about certain sexual practices, could be explored in het fic as well. But I think there is still a lot of truth in this hypothesis, in so far as slash is a particularly _safe_ way of exploring and breaking taboos, for a straight woman.

Slash sometimes deals not only with experiences that I don’t _want_ to have in Real Life, it also deals with experiences I _cannot_ have. I mean, there are certain typical elements of gay sex that have an equivalent in het sex, so I could try them out in my own sex life – hand jobs, blow jobs, receiving anal sex - but maybe I don’t want to. And then there’s always the person at the other end, too, and I’ll simply never know what that feels like.

So picturing these things happening to a man instead of a woman leaves me free to fantasise about it without having to try it out myself and without even having to imagine what it would feel like for me. That means it can be a bit unusual, a bit shameless, a bit dangerous, a bit painful even - because it’s not about me. I won’t associate the goings-on with any negative memories or fears of my own. It’s unthreatening, by definition: whatever my imagination may procure, it can’t harm me. Not just because the actual scenario is fictional, but also because it never could, thanks to human biology, happen to me in real life anyway. That’s like a double safety net, and I need that to truly enjoy my fantasies.

Going back to femmeslash for a moment: In femmeslash I’d only a have a single safety net, that of the actual scenario being fictional. But it would still theoretically all be possible for me to experience in real life, too, and that _is_ too close to home for comfort.

So, with my double safety net firmly installed, I happily sit back and just watch the show, do I?

Um. No, I don’t.

And here is where the confusion _really_ starts.

LJ user “orangewinters” has expressed her view of the appeal of slash thus:

_“Sex scenes in slash … offer sex without the objectification of either member. Women become the observer rather than the observed … Slash is easy to read and write because a woman isn’t part of the action, she can sit back and feel emotionally attached without putting herself in a vulnerable position. It’s a way to test the erotic while remaining at a safe distance.”_

When I read this, I initially found it very convincing. On second thoughts however, although I still think this statement is completely valid and plausible in itself, the appeal of slash, for me, doesn’t stop here.

That’s because “orangewinters” only talks about the appeal of m/m action to an _observer_ , to someone standing somewhere _outside_ the scene and only watching the goings-on. And while that may be the usual perspective taken by the reader of a story, it’s not the only perspective I ever take when I read slash, and it’s certainly not the perspective of the writer.

To clarify this, let me talk about writer’s perspective first.

The slash writer (like any writer) _doesn’t_ only watch what’s going on. She’s the one who’s pulling the strings. It’s her who makes the characters do what they do and say what they say and even think what they think. The writer is in charge, and when I write, I shamelessly enjoy that. Yes, it’s about power, it’s about appropriating the characters, bending them to your purposes, making them do whatever you want them to do. And they’re so obedient, aren’t they? They do it all the time and never complain. They’re happy to serve and eager to please. What a thrill.

This thrill, by the way, is something that I regularly feel when I write gen fic, too, the thrill of power, the thrill of being the creator, the master of puppets. And when it’s about sexual scenarios, the thrill redoubles, because the more intense the scene and the emotions involved, the more intense the experience of creating them for the characters. And things usually do get pretty intense in sex. To a milder degree, I’ve experienced this same thrill when writing scenes of violence, too, or scenes of extreme angst, depression and despair. I guess it happens with all strong emotions.

On the other side, the reader.

As a reader, I obviously don’t create on such a deep level as the writer does. But I create pictures in my head of what I read on the page or screen, which is a creative process, too, and lets me share in a milder version of the same thrill that the writer has enjoyed.

So both as a reader and a writer, I do not always content myself with the role of an observer. I self-insert, shamelessly. Well - there are some scenarios that work for me _only_ from a safe distance, but there are also others that I definitely feel myself to be part of. And they’re not always the sweetest, most harmless and harmonious scenarios, either.

Of course, this self-insertion is a very indirect one, since the characters are male and engaged in things that I often don’t want to or simply cannot engage in in reality. So even in the self-insert, there’s still enough safe distance for me not to get too uncomfortable. But there you are. Once a scenario looks removed enough from the experiences I’ve had or could have in my real llfe, I come sneaking back in, in the form of one of the characters participating, or sometimes both.

 

**_Answer # 20:_ **

_In a slash fic, the female reader can freely insert herself into either or both characters and assume any part she likes._

As I’ve said, that’s exactly what I do. So which is “the part I like”?

When reading other people’s fics, it’s not always the POV character. Initially, as far as I remember, I used to identify mostly with the more passive part, especially in sexual practices featuring penetrative sex.

That's probably not surprising for a woman, and a woman new to the genre at that. But I was (and still am) also genuinely interested in what must be going on in a man’s mind in a situation like that. Because to be in the passive position makes you so vulnerable. You have to pretty much let all your guards down, or allow someone else take down all your barriers, mentally and physically. It strips you bare body and soul. And that’s something that’s interesting to see in any character, and in male ones particularly, because for men it’s so doubly unusual. It’s something men are not supposed to do, so it’s something they probably have no “default” reaction to. Which makes their actual reaction all the more intriguing.

I’ve seen the suggestion - by a male fan - that explicit slash fic features a lot more sexual practices that involve penetration than what would be normal or average in a gay relationship in real life. It seems women are fascinated by this theme particularly (I certainly am), and that’s not surprising after all, that’s the defining part of our female sexuality. I don’t think that my fascination with it has to do with “getting back” at men for what they do to us women in real life. But maybe it means that I'd wish more men would understand what a really big thing it is to let anyone do that, and how much trust it takes, and how terrible it is when you feel that trust is disregarded or even abused.

So much for the passive part. In the meantime though, I’ve branched out. I’ve come to insert myself also into the more active part (or, as you’d have to call it in some stories that I like, the aggressive part), and I’ve enjoyed that, too - for different reasons, but just as much. The first time I wrote an explicit fic from the POV of the active part was a very strange experience, actually. It wasn’t a sweet and tender bit of love-making either, but a pretty rough affair, and still, it was _so_ good to write it. I scared myself so much in the process, but it was still just. so. good. 

I admit that I do enjoy the sense of power, of control, of domination that’s behind it. Because it’s fascinating to be able to change the roles, for once. And it’s so thrilling to see your favourite character from that very unusual perspective - not high up there on his hero’s pedestal, where you can only worship him from a distance (along with thousands of other fangirls), but right here, right under you, at your disposal, at your mercy. The thrill of this gorgeous character willing (or even forced, if you want to take the domination extremes) to be _your_ bottom. Unbelievable. Fantastic. Don’t you get wet just thinking about it? I do.

As I’ve seen it put by a soul sister,

 _"I write from the POV of character X not because I want to be X, but because I want to fuck character Y."_ (internet resource, author unknown)

Yep, that’s me, too.

And I assure you I’ve noticed that this is a fairly illogical statement, given the fact that I’m a woman and Y is a man. But in my mind, it works.

 

**Answer # 21:**

_So in the end, it all comes down to penis-envy, doesn’t it?_

Well, Sigmund Freud would agree. So far, I’ve talked a lot about feeling “deficient”, of feeling “left out” of experiences, of my frustration at biology not allowing me to have them, or even to comprehend and realistically imagine what they feel like. And at the same time, I’ve said that I enjoy imagining taking the active part in penetrative sex. I can virtually see Sigmund gleefully rubbing his hands right now. And the disturbing thing is, I get the feeling that he’s somehow right.

The inequality between men and women is, after all, structural, biological, not just a product of modern society. It’s frustrating, because while we can keep trying to change the social gender imbalance, in a way the current state of things has biology on its side, and we can’t change that. To be dominant in sex and to be male are synonymous in biology, and so they have become, consequently, in society. The traditional social gender roles would not have developed the way they have if nature had defined “male” and “female” differently, or if it had made all human beings of the same gender, or if it had given us the option to procreate independently of each other,  by other means than sexual intercourse.

And am I not proving this traditional view right, when I talk about feeling deficient, compared to men? When I feel so lacking, so left out, that I have to resort to fictional scenarios to make up for that deficiency, sad little thing that I am?

Hmm. Really?

This is probably the biggest single revelation I’ve had while I’ve been thinking about this: No, that’s not the case. Quite the opposite. Let me explain.

You see, for some reason, Sigmund Freud talks about penis-envy as if it’s a huge problem. Something that women simply have but can’t get out of, dictated by biology as it is. As if it’s a shadow that biology has cast over our female sexuality, and that we apparently have no choice but to either repress or ignore if we want to keep our sanity.

And here is where I say no. Maybe penis-envy is deep down at the bottom of this matter, but even if it is, see, I refuse to have a problem with it. If this is a part of my psyche, as it’s supposedly a part of every female psyche, hey! I might as well get comfortable with it, and find an enjoyable way of letting it out. I really don’t see why I should flagellate myself trying to exorcise it, or whither and waste away in denial that I have these feelings at all.

So, what works best to help me explore and enjoy this part of my psyche? It is and remains technically impossible for me to ever take the physically dominant part of a penetrative sexual act in real life. But in my mind, in my imagination, I can go there as often and as long and in as much detail as I want. In my imagination, I can even try out things that no man would reasonably want to do in reality, although he technically could. And I can think up things that probably don’t even objectively work or exist in real life, but that still turn me on when I imagine them.

As I have read elsewhere, as far as my sexuality goes,

 _“The female part of me expresses itself in Real Life. The male part of me expresses itself in slash.”_ (internet resource, author unknown)

Yes, it is fictional, but who says that’s bad? Who says that’s somehow second class to reality? In so many ways, it’s _better_ than reality. There’s so much more freedom. In my fantasies, _I’m_ the one in charge, unquestioned. As opposed to sexual situations in real life, there is no one to rival or question my utter control of what’s going on. There is no need to consider anyone else’s feelings, or bodily needs, but my own. And once I’m free to decide what happens, my imagination easily surpasses the limits that biology imposes on me in real life. The sheer range of experiences that are open to me in my fantasies are breathtaking. As opposed to the possibilities that my own body offers, my imagination is limitless. It’s the place where everything that I want can happen, and if that is what I get in return for the biological lack of a penis, I thank my maker that he (or she, as I always tend to believe when it comes to this ;-)) made me a woman.

So, Sigmund, wake up. Of course I don’t have a cock. I’m a woman. I don’t need a cock. I have a brain.

Ultimately, it’s the wonderfully two-fold way my imagination works that makes slash so appealing to me. It provides at the same time freedom and safety. Freedom to explore things that I cannot, should not and do not want to explore in real life. Freedom from traditional role models and gender stereotypes, and even from the necessity of criticising them. And all that within the safety of a scenario that is, outwardly, so far removed from any of my own (past or potential) real experiences that I need have no fear of the story coming too close to home for comfort. Freedom and safety - slash offers the ultimate combination of both. That's why I like it. 

 

To conclude -

 

**_Answer # 22:_ **

_The whole question “why do het women like slash” is wrong altogether. Slash is read and enjoyed by lesbian women, gay men and bisexuals of both genders, too, so whether you like it or not is actually completely unrelated to your own gender and sexual orientation._

This is probably the biggest misunderstanding I have come across in other people’s attempts at interpreting the phenomenon. It sounds logical at first, because of course there _are_ straight, gay and bisexual slash fans, male ones and female ones. But that only goes to show that every gender and all sexual orientations have their own reasons for finding slash appealing. What exactly those reasons are for people outside my own demographic group of heterosexual females, I can’t tell. But what I’ve come to understand as I was working my way through this is: _I_ don’t like m/m slash _although_ I’m a heterosexual woman, I like it _because_ I am.

It makes perfect sense now.

 

\-------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading this.

 

If you’re interested in reading up on the issue, there is too much out there to list it all, but here are a few more links that offer more than just opinions and assumptions and that I can recommend:

 

“When Frodo met Sam” from The Times

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/printFriendly/0,,2-536-1173508,00.html

 

"Fantastic Voyage“ by Noy Thrupkaew, from Bitch Magazine

http://www.bitchmagazine.com/archives/04_03slash/slash.shtml

 

"Normal Female Interest in Men Bonking” by Henry Jenkins, Cynthia Jenkins and Shoshanna Green

http://web.mit.edu/21fms/www/faculty/henry3/bonking.html

 

“A Freudian Perspective on Feminine Sexuality and the “Slash” Subculture” by Seishuku Skuld

http://web.mit.edu/skuld/www/fanfic/slash-revised.htm

 

If you recognise any of the uncredited quotes that I’ve used, drop me a line I’ll be happy to credit their authors properly.


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